Concussion
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This episode is all about Rances and how he's dealing with the concussion he suffered from a nasty car accident.
The episode starts off with Mr. Robot explaining how the crash happened and what he remembers from that day.
We then talk about how the kids reacted to the news and the wide range of emotions they felt when their parents finally made it home.
Rances talks about the changes he's noticed from the concussion which ranges from having trouble focusing and noticing his temper flares up more quickly.
The guys talk about their most recent speaking event and the anxiety behind it... since Rances isn't 100%
We then talk about how much we love our robot and that we're happy he's okay.
Mo talks about how the accident has hurt business... but the only thing to do is to continue moving forward.
Rances ends the pod talking about something sweet Moises did for him following the incident.
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Timestamps
0:00 - Intro
01:47 - Mainframe dysfunction
06:58 - The accident
16:12 - The aftermath
20:40 - What Emotions without suppression look like
24:40 - the road to recovery
31:35 - Extiquishing The emotional intensity
37:34 - Having self-compassion
40:00 - Compassionate Tribe
46:00 - Tell us your thoughts https://forms.gle/aqLERqWV4H1BqDB79
Transcript
00;00;00;22 - 00;00;08;22
Punchline Jay
Hey guys, welcome back to another edition of Mindset U. This episode 66 one more 6 and it will be my favorite episode and
00;00;08;22 - 00;00;11;28
Moody Mo
I Just wanted to get Rances thinking the entire podcast.
00;00;12;02 - 00;00;15;24
Moody Mo
I just want him to be annoyed.
00;00;15;24 - 00;00;21;11
Moody Mo
So if you guys see there's a red corner here, I just now I'm going to really. Tik Rances off. There's a red corner here.
00;00;21;11 - 00;00;24;25
Moody Mo
But on. That side, there's no red card. No. Why?
00;00;24;26 - 00;00;30;28
Moody Mo
Because there's no real corner. It goes into the kitchen. All right.
00;00;32;20 - 00;00;59;15
Punchline Jay
So I don't want to be in the middle. Anyway, you guys. Episode 66 This is all about our buddy Rances and the recent traumatic experience that he went through. And if you guys like, wow, he's become more mechanical, there's a good reason behind it, and you should watch yourselves when you talk about it, because our baby was injured.
00;00;59;15 - 00;00;59;28
Punchline Jay
You good?
00;01;00;27 - 00;01;17;26
Robot Rances
I'm good. That was the reason why that Episode that you guys did without me here. Like, Rances is not feeling good right now. Yeah, that was. Was it that day? I don't remember. It was.
00;01;17;26 - 00;01;19;11
Moody Mo
No. Sometime after that it was.
00;01;19;11 - 00;01;33;14
Punchline Jay
Sometime after it. But yeah. Our baby wasn't feeling well and there's a good reason behind it, and I'll let him explain. And then we can dove into the repercussions of of it and the experience that our baby's going through.
00;01;34;06 - 00;01;46;08
Robot Rances
So actually, I got an idea before I talk about it, about what happened, I wanted to ask you guys, what have you noticed since the accident.
00;01;46;10 - 00;01;49;28
Moody Mo
You became dumber.
00;01;49;28 - 00;02;22;07
Punchline Jay
I wouldn't say explore that. Yeah. I mean, you want to jump into that first self evident. Just listen to and talk guys and you'll see it. No, I've noticed that it's become a lot harder for you to focus on things and I notice that stuff that I know that you've explained to us that you've worked on for a long, longer, you know, for most of your life and stuff like that, that it's I could actively see you working on it now compared to before was just kind of like internal.
00;02;22;24 - 00;02;32;20
Punchline Jay
Now it's more like, oh, I could, I could see it kind of thing compared to before. Oh he says his eyes are darted around and he's just being raised. It's not like, oh no baby is trying to figure things out. Right.
00;02;33;05 - 00;02;36;11
Robot Rances
Okay, so my mask has fallen apart is what your saying
00;02;36;15 - 00;02;37;22
Punchline Jay
I would say so, yeah. your mask
00;02;37;23 - 00;02;41;18
Moody Mo
its kind of like your mainframe got damaged. Yeah.
00;02;42;23 - 00;02;49;07
Robot Rances
Okay, Mo You really don't want to explain. You know, I'm dumber.
00;02;49;07 - 00;03;11;20
Moody Mo
No I mean, Its a joke, but I think I agree with Jay. I think that there's more of this, like, work that I see you putting into to think just. Yeah, to think itself in the beginning. I won't lie. I thought you were being a little dramatic.
00;03;11;21 - 00;03;12;02
Punchline Jay
So Fucked up
00;03;12;29 - 00;03;13;20
Moody Mo
I did
00;03;13;20 - 00;03;15;20
Punchline Jay
No it's fair. Still...
00;03;15;20 - 00;03;16;19
Moody Mo
I thought about it until I had.
00;03;16;19 - 00;03;18;15
Moody Mo
To work with him and then I was like, oh shit, this.
00;03;18;29 - 00;03;22;28
Moody Mo
he Is Really dumb, fuck this is really bad for business.
00;03;24;08 - 00;03;25;24
Moody Mo
This is not good at all.
00;03;25;28 - 00;03;29;02
Robot Rances
It's a dramatic in terms of like,
00;03;29;02 - 00;03;29;27
Moody Mo
I don't know, man,
00;03;29;27 - 00;03;32;07
Robot Rances
not comeing to the episode like, you know.
00;03;32;08 - 00;03;43;08
Moody Mo
No, I guess I always have. No, no, not the episode. I kind of understood that I always had. I guess I always had this belief about you, if you like, you're always a little extra when it comes to the things that you do.
00;03;43;08 - 00;03;48;27
Punchline Jay
I mean, he is the same guy who compared having a neurological disorder to being in a wheelchair.
00;03;48;27 - 00;03;50;19
Moody Mo
Yeah. Like to me, that is.
00;03;50;19 - 00;03;53;11
Punchline Jay
Like Ed, God tried to try to match him.
00;03;55;27 - 00;03;57;14
Moody Mo
I’m Fucked up? You're fucked up.
00;03;57;22 - 00;04;00;05
Punchline Jay
The same God said we're going to find out.
00;04;00;22 - 00;04;16;01
Moody Mo
Well, it's not that. It's these things that you do and I think he's just I can't empathize because I don't have the same like neurological or neurotypical issues
00;04;16;01 - 00;04;22;13
Punchline Jay
We’re Bros In that sense. It's very hard for us to feel empathy for a friend who's in pain sometimes when we can't physically see it.
00;04;22;20 - 00;04;56;04
Moody Mo
But I'm saying before the accident, like Rances does all these different things to be efficient and effective. Right. And for me, I think I'm very similar to your wife, where it's just like, no, it's this simple. It's just like fucking to do this. But Rances has an approach with things that way. So like, for example, the corner and with The red like. This is driving. Rances crazy. I don't give a shit. It doesn't change the podcast. It's like, we're not going to get fucking another 10,000 fans just because of this corner.
00;04;56;04 - 00;04;57;11
Punchline Jay
I don't like that red corner.
00;04;58;25 - 00;05;19;04
Moody Mo
So it's those things where I feel like Rances is just a little extra. So then when you got the accident and Rances is just like, I need these protocols in place for me to function, I'm like, Oh man, he's been even extra, even more extra until I started to work with him. I was like, Oh, okay, yeah, this is he.
00;05;19;10 - 00;05;26;27
Moody Mo
He needs this. Which then it brought more of an empathetic and sympathetic side out of me were i was like, Oh, fuck, I gotta take care of this guy now.
00;05;27;07 - 00;05;47;07
Punchline Jay
You know? It's like, You know what, though? I kind of agree with you until I came to the house that one day that you guys were working on the project and it was my first time seeing you, and I was like, Oh, okay. He was like, he isnt being, he isnt being extra about it? Like, All right, I could see it's really fucking with him.
00;05;47;24 - 00;06;05;01
Punchline Jay
And that's why I had so many different questions. I think there's a light bother you and stuff like that. Like, you know, because I realize that one, your wife loves to have every single fucking shade opened in this house and who doesn't love a nice sunlight in? But at the same time, when you have a concussion, who knows how great that sun does?
00;06;05;01 - 00;06;27;27
Punchline Jay
Fucking beaming into your eye all day long, does for you. So I have a few questions when we get into if what happened in the aftermath of like what changes have you noticed in his being somebody who who's probably been concussed before and never really done anything about it? I'm interested to see what's changed, but first, let's jump into what happened.
00;06;29;08 - 00;07;03;24
Robot Rances
Okay. So how Jay mentioned I got a concussion and the way that happened was my wife and I were driving on the New Jersey Turnpike on our way to pick up our kids. We had just finished doing some interior design project for a close friend of ours, for Lisa, and we're driving home excited to pick up our kids from from school because we're going we're going to be picking them up to go to this private school that we want to explore for them for next year.
00;07;03;24 - 00;07;24;22
Robot Rances
And they're excited about it. We're excited about it. And we were literally in the car driving and discussing like the game plan is like, okay, so we didn't have a we were on our way late, so we didn't have a chance to get home and shower. So we're going to go pick up Logan first and we'll pick up Emma from there, take off right away.
00;07;24;22 - 00;07;53;08
Robot Rances
Like literally that was the conversation that was happening and the moment that things started to go south and what happened was there was a incident happening in front of us and basically two drivers were fighting with each other about who gets who gets into the lane and the one driver in front of the lane which pissed off the driver that was directly in front of us.
00;07;53;23 - 00;08;13;17
Robot Rances
That driver went around that person and brake checked them, slammed on the brake in the middle of the turnpike so that car was forced to stop. And we saw this happening. We were actually like, we're discussing like, oh, we're going to be doing that. And then I was like, You see this shit, babe? My wife was driving and she's like, Yeah, yeah.
00;08;13;17 - 00;08;40;01
Robot Rances
I'm like, Give them space giving face. So we see all this happening, we see that happen. So we're able to stop in time. And I'm looking back at the side view mirror from the passenger side and I see this black Honda coming at us not slowing down. I'm talking about like 50 miles per hour coming at us. And I just start screaming, oh, shit.
00;08;40;02 - 00;08;59;19
Robot Rances
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. My wife is like, wait, what's what's going on? What are you talking about? And right there is when push this was also, by the way, a car that we had just purchased two day before, two days before. So part of the like the thoughts that were going into my head, it's like you see so many things happening.
00;08;59;26 - 00;09;24;24
Robot Rances
One was like, Hey, the kids, how are we going to get to the kids? The other thing was ignore the new car. No, the other thing was like, maybe we can go. We can go right, we go left and so on and so forth, which is all being processed, as I'm saying. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. And then the disempowering feeling of like, I'm in the passenger, I can't affect anything, I can't make a change.
00;09;25;07 - 00;09;54;18
Robot Rances
I just had to sit here and just wait for this. So all of that was going through my head as that car barreled into us and the impact was so violent that I remember like I was locked in anticipating the crash and the moment the car hit, I remember that feeling of being just slammed backwards and being struck in the back of the head.
00;09;55;12 - 00;10;22;00
Robot Rances
When I was struck in the back of the head, I don't know if I lost complete consciousness, but what I felt was like blackness in that blackness then came whiteness. And then like things started to clear up. And all I'm hearing is my wife next to me screaming at me. I don't know what she's saying. It literally sounded like like gibberish to me.
00;10;22;14 - 00;10;41;26
Robot Rances
And she just kept repeating, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. And I'm like, What's going on? So, like, confused but still aware. Like, we were just an accident. But what's happening is like this, this transient state. And then as things start to kind of clear up, I started understanding her. She's saying, Are you okay? Are you okay?
00;10;41;26 - 00;10;59;03
Robot Rances
And at this point I want to answer her. My mouth won't work and I'm just like, What the hell? What the hell? Like that's all I'm thinking in my head. Like, I can't make sense out of all of this. And then we start seeing smoke, which in retrospect is the smoke is coming from like the air bags going off because all the air bags went off.
00;10;59;03 - 00;11;26;01
Robot Rances
So yeah. So in that moment, like coming to to my senses, the smoke, immediate panic, I'm like, oh my God, like, what's happening? The right lane to us. Like cars are still flying by. Again, we're on the turnpike where it was a it was a split where it goes into two lanes. So as only two lanes, we're on one lane and in the right lane, people are so passing, obviously they're slowing down because there's an accident happening.
00;11;26;16 - 00;11;43;17
Robot Rances
But in my mind, I'm like, I can't leave this way. It's too dangerous and we need to get out the car because all I see is smoke. I'm confused. She's screaming the OnStar or the car or whatever. Oh, did I say that about the car? Brand new car thing that I mean.
00;11;43;17 - 00;11;44;19
Moody Mo
No, you did talk about.
00;11;44;20 - 00;12;05;00
Robot Rances
I was in car. Yeah, we bought that car two days before, so it was like we hadn't even taken a picture of the car. So, like, we were also confused by it. Like the OnStar person is screaming our we've detected of accident, is everything okay? And and we're like, why, who's who are you? Like, Where's this voice coming from?
00;12;05;13 - 00;12;28;11
Robot Rances
And my wife is like, We need help. We need help. So like all of this chaos has happening and I'm just feeling like panic, like we're in danger. We're still in danger like we can imagining we can still get hit by another car in the back and and these cars are still flying their smoke in the car. I don't know what's going on.
00;12;28;11 - 00;12;47;02
Robot Rances
And at this moment, like, I feel the pain in my head and I rub my head in a leg of my hand is full of blood and I'm like, Oh shit, another layer of panic. And then around that time is when someone starts banging on the window and it's the woman that that crashed into that she's crying, screaming like, I didn't see you.
00;12;47;02 - 00;12;49;16
Robot Rances
I'm so sorry. I didn't see you. What happened? I’m so sorry.
00;12;49;16 - 00;12;50;08
Moody Mo
She didnt see a bright red car.
00;12;50;19 - 00;12;51;12
Robot Rances
huh.
00;12;51;12 - 00;12;52;20
Moody Mo
She didn't see the bright red car.
00;12;53;07 - 00;12;53;14
Robot Rances
And.
00;12;54;02 - 00;13;06;06
Punchline Jay
You know, but you got to realize, like, this all happens. Like it feels like it's a it feels like it's an eternity kind of thing. But it all happened so fucking fast sometimes that if you're not paying attention or like, it's really imperative, like.
00;13;06;21 - 00;13;07;10
Moody Mo
To not be on your.
00;13;07;10 - 00;13;22;25
Punchline Jay
Phone, not be on your phone. It's a really fucking pay attention to what you're doing because all it takes is a split second for you to crash into somebody. And thank God it was something that like it was not it was just a concussion, but it wasn't worse.
00;13;22;26 - 00;13;45;24
Robot Rances
No, we're we're very aware and grateful. Oh, no, no. Of course you came we came out of that with our selves intact. Number one, and also with with basically minor injuries in the sense of like I didn't have a broken leg. My wife didn't. And my wife had some gashes on her legs and bruises all over her body.
00;13;45;24 - 00;13;47;25
Robot Rances
But, you know, we're still in one piece.
00;13;47;25 - 00;13;49;00
Moody Mo
And my kids weren't in the car.
00;13;49;12 - 00;14;13;04
Robot Rances
And that's the biggest thing. Yeah, because we had we had from we were coming from, like I said, doing that, that, that project, interior design project and we had our tools in the back. So my toolbox was in the back and when I eventually picked it up, it was dented from the back, meaning that the trunk like reached all the way to the back seat.
00;14;13;04 - 00;14;16;06
Robot Rances
So if someone was sitting there, they would have been possibly killed.
00;14;16;06 - 00;14;16;24
Punchline Jay
That would’ve been bad.
00;14;17;02 - 00;14;17;22
Moody Mo
Mm hmm.
00;14;18;04 - 00;14;38;17
Robot Rances
So meaning that impact reach all the way to the back seat. So all of this. This woman's banging on the thing, and I'm seeing the smoke and panicking blood. I'm just like, get out, get out, get out, get out the car, get out, get out, get out. So I started telling my wife to get out and it's the like the car inside airbags.
00;14;38;17 - 00;15;01;10
Robot Rances
They're like curtains that come down. So you also like trying to see underneath them and and figure out how to get out the car. There's glass all over the car because the whole rear windshield blew up in the accident. And so we're we're sprinkled with broken glass everywhere. So I'm trying to climb over to the to the driver seat to get out the driver's side door.
00;15;01;24 - 00;15;20;16
Robot Rances
I think in the process, I get a bunch of glass in my hands and my hands are bleeding. No more or more blood on my hands, as opposed to just now. Do you know what any of this was? We get out and step to the side. Our first girl is screaming like crazy and I'm just like, What the hell's going on?
00;15;20;27 - 00;15;34;07
Robot Rances
After this? I was a bit nauseous. Paramedics came and all this stuff and I had our thing. Luckily, I didn't throw up. But I know that that's that's one of the symptoms of a concussion. Is that nausea?
00;15;34;17 - 00;15;36;19
Punchline Jay
Yeah.
00;15;36;19 - 00;15;41;06
Robot Rances
And yeah, that was the thing that had me not feeling well.
00;15;42;16 - 00;15;44;21
Punchline Jay
That we thought he was being a baby if we.
00;15;44;21 - 00;15;46;00
Moody Mo
Thought he was being a little bitch About it.
00;15;46;00 - 00;15;48;12
Moody Mo
But no, it's pretty it's pretty bad now.
00;15;48;13 - 00;15;53;10
Punchline Jay
Yeah. I remember when you showed us a picture of the car, that's when I was like, Oh, shit.
00;15;53;18 - 00;15;54;02
Robot Rances
Yeah.
00;15;54;11 - 00;15;57;02
Punchline Jay
And I was also the first time I saw the new car too Wow.
00;15;57;15 - 00;16;00;06
Robot Rances
you know, that was the only picture we got of the car.
00;16;00;06 - 00;16;24;08
Punchline Jay
No, it was. It was terrifying. It was. And like you said, thankfully, the kids were in the backseat of. So I guess my question to you is, after the whole ordeal and stuff like that, what was the emotions like going to the hospital like? Did you guys go to the hospital in an ambulance? Right. Yeah. So like what was like do you remember like what was going through your head and stuff like that?
00;16;24;08 - 00;16;27;16
Punchline Jay
We were like, Holy shit, the kids. The kids like what? What, really?
00;16;27;26 - 00;16;57;09
Robot Rances
So the thing is that I have a bunch of, like, gaps in, like remembering. So like, I remember the act of wanting to crawl out of the car and then like, next thing, I'm standing next to the car. I remember, I remember the officer asking us questions and I remember Lisa getting there. Then I remember being in the ambulance.
00;16;57;28 - 00;17;18;19
Robot Rances
But like the ambulance, for example, like Lisa got there first. She came from Secaucus. We were by like Rule 46. So she got there before the ambulance like we were waiting. The cars were were gone by the time the ambulance got there and I got it, put it on the flatbed and took them all off three cars. I think the fourth car was able to drive away.
00;17;20;14 - 00;17;41;08
Robot Rances
So like the ambulance took forever. But like for me it was gaps. What I do remember is, is getting screamed at by one of the officers because I walked back like behind the car that hit us. And I was looking at the floor. I was like, there are no skid marks. There's no skid marks here. And the officers like, get back to two over there or whatever.
00;17;41;08 - 00;17;51;21
Robot Rances
And I'm like, I'm just checking to see if their skid marks is like, It'll be in the police report. Don't worry about it, by the way. No, nothing's in the police report was in there.
00;17;52;07 - 00;17;53;00
Punchline Jay
What a surprise.
00;17;53;00 - 00;18;22;06
Robot Rances
Yeah. Anyways, so the whole thing was like again, memory, like gaps that it's like is like this happened and a blank this happened and blank this happened blank. So I don't remember all the details as to like immediately what happened. I remember being in the ambulance and having the little blue bag to throw up. And I like I was like, I don't want to throw up.
00;18;22;06 - 00;18;22;26
Robot Rances
I don't want to throw up
00;18;24;06 - 00;18;34;28
Moody Mo
I got a question. So after actually my question is what happened with your kids? How did they react to the information once they found out?
00;18;35;23 - 00;18;51;21
Robot Rances
So obviously, we we had to oh, by the way, like about the memory gaps. So I saw afterwards and I sent you guys like a voice knowing all this stuff. Like, I didn't I looked at it afterwards. I was like and I listened to it. I was like, What the fuck? I don't remember seeing this.
00;18;51;21 - 00;19;04;23
Punchline Jay
And I think that's why I first like, oh, like this guy. It's like a fender bender or something like that. So I didn't think anything of it. I was like, Oh shit, like that. So it's like, Oh really? Since until you sent the picture, I was like, Oh shit, this is, this is serious. Like, Fuck, are you guys okay?
00;19;04;25 - 00;19;05;14
Punchline Jay
Kind of thing.
00;19;06;08 - 00;19;25;02
Moody Mo
Yeah. I also thought because of that, that it wasn't like it was serious, but it wasn't that serious. And I was like, Oh shit, they're going to bad accent. But I guess it wasn't that bad because Rances was still able to send a message and yeah, until you were like. I can't think, yeah, like me.
00;19;25;02 - 00;19;32;06
Robot Rances
Like, yeah. So there's no memory of that. And then I listen to it. I was like talking about the podcast, actually. I was like, What the hell?
00;19;32;15 - 00;19;35;18
Punchline Jay
That's why I take it as like I was like, Oh, they got into an accident and I took it.
00;19;35;18 - 00;19;36;19
Robot Rances
I'm still on task,
00;19;36;19 - 00;19;45;21
Punchline Jay
but, but he's like, Oh, like, I'm not gonna be able to help out with the podcast. And I was like, Oh really? I hope you guys are okay kind of thing. And then you said that because like, why are you talking about the podcast?
00;19;46;03 - 00;19;47;23
Punchline Jay
The fucks wrong with you!
00;19;48;08 - 00;20;06;13
Robot Rances
So, so like so that's what was happening there. You were asking about the kids and like in the process Paola called the kids to let them know that we're not going to be able to pick them up to go to the school. And, you know, initially they're like, why not? Whatever. So we don't flipping out about that that they were very excited about.
00;20;06;13 - 00;20;26;09
Robot Rances
She was like, okay, that we were in a car accident and the were okay, right? So like we're trying to make sure that they don't freak out. So this is Logan. We were talking with Logan because we're going to reach Emma, so we're telling him, but we're okay. Don't worry about it. You know, we'll see you later tonight.
00;20;26;15 - 00;20;54;19
Robot Rances
And he she's like and the new car like, don't worry about that. We'll talk about it later. So and so forth. So like we go to the hospital, everything, we get home that night and when we we walk home and our kids are here with Paola’s parents, they start freaking out, start screaming Logan and screaming angrily at us and starts crying because they see the condition.
00;20;54;19 - 00;21;18;05
Robot Rances
We walking in and and they're like, You lied to us. You told us you were okay. You're not okay. And we're like, We are okay. We're in one piece like that. That's what we mean. We're like, you know your life. Yeah, yeah. So that was an Emma She's she's eight years old. She was like, you can tell she was going through a lot of emotional.
00;21;18;05 - 00;21;33;14
Robot Rances
Like she was, like, angry, push me away and then hugged me tight and then pushed me like like this emotional turmoil. I don't know what I'm feeling. And Logan was verbal about it, like, you know, screaming at it.
00;21;34;20 - 00;21;57;27
Punchline Jay
It's funny how like, how we process things like even as kids and stuff like that where it's like it's really fear. They're just scared. They're so scared for their parents. And watching somebody like navigate that fear is always so interesting, especially with, like, younger kids. And I was I was really curious about how the kids reacted to it because that's fucking scary.
00;21;58;04 - 00;22;14;16
Punchline Jay
Like somebody who's witnesses dead get hurt a lot and it's life and like, pretty much be traumatized by certain times, like watching, like hearing them fall down a flight of stairs and then in darkness and then turn on the light to find him unconscious, bleeding out of his head. When I was like in seventh grade, that shit stays with you.
00;22;14;16 - 00;22;29;15
Punchline Jay
And, and it's, it's rough. And, um, there's just, I think as a kid, there's no quite the fear of realizing that your parents aren't invincible. Hmm. Mean. That's like. And that's like. Oh, shit. Like, this is. I can lose them.
00;22;29;15 - 00;22;29;28
Robot Rances
Yeah.
00;22;30;12 - 00;22;46;01
Punchline Jay
And they are for some routine thing. They were just driving kind of thing. It was like my dad was fighting lions or something, like, you know what I mean? Like putting yourself in these scary situation. So, like, I could totally see why they were like, you lied, you know, because you said you're okay, and I see you. You're all fucked up.
00;22;47;18 - 00;23;03;25
Punchline Jay
But at the same time, what are you gonna tell them? Guys, we're really fucked up right now when we get home, you know? Like what? You don't want to scare them. you don't want to get them riled up before they can see you kind of thing. So it's like, who? Yeah, it's a lot of emotions. It's. It's a lot.
00;23;04;04 - 00;23;32;28
Moody Mo
I mean that not to go off a tangent is but we were talking earlier about how they the emotions of like young young kids younger kids. It's to me it's easier to identify because of like when you're younger, you're able to express things without the fear of being judged. So as you get older, the expression of these types of emotions or feelings that you're having become more difficult.
00;23;32;28 - 00;23;55;23
Moody Mo
So adults or young adults tend to suppress or repress a lot of things. So when you told me the story about Emma, how you can push you away and how you can push you away is because in that moment there's this like biology that's actually occurring, but you can't label it like you can't label the biology. You're angry, but you're also happy at the same time that your parents are okay.
00;23;56;07 - 00;24;04;08
Moody Mo
And to me, that's really interesting because we were just having that conversation of like, how do you teach children this? How do you and it's like you let them express.
00;24;05;11 - 00;24;30;23
Punchline Jay
And it's kind of sweet. It's kind of sweet, too. And you think about like it's a very trying thing, but to to know that, like, you know, she went through this like range of emotions in a in a like snap of figure. It's like it's it's really like you say, like it's awesome to see kids be able to to experience and see how they how it's all going through their head, like the gears are moving and stuff like that.
00;24;31;07 - 00;24;37;09
Moody Mo
And also shows that it is in black or white, it's out with this or that. You know, that that to me was pretty interesting to.
00;24;37;12 - 00;24;58;22
Punchline Jay
Yeah. So here's my next question. Jumping off of that, you know, what are some of the differences that you've noticed with with recovering from this accident and from getting a concussion and stuff like that? What are some of the things that you notice are a lot harder now than it was prior?
00;24;58;22 - 00;25;30;28
Robot Rances
So I jump off of the last thing that you were talking about with Emma, which is like emotional regulation that's become a little more challenging where like I would get just upset and like there's no logical reason. I'm just like, you're like, is there? No, I'm angry at your leg and you and I just want to explode. So, like, so, like, being aware of, like, I'm angry right now.
00;25;30;29 - 00;25;52;08
Robot Rances
Like, why am I angry? It makes no sense. So, like, I started becoming very distant from my family, my kids, my wife, because I'm like, I'm just, like, flipping out for no reason. So it's better if I just keep my distance and then not expose them to all of this. Like, this is like, it's not going to make sense to them.
00;25;52;08 - 00;26;15;07
Robot Rances
And it's like, why? Dad was just talking to me. And now he's yelling. So that was that was one of the big challenges because he's like, that's going back to what you guys were saying. Like that's one of the things where I'm like, I'm very I've done a lot of work with managing my anger and all that stuff.
00;26;15;07 - 00;26;36;28
Robot Rances
And in high school and younger, I used to be very angry, easily angered, and like it felt like all the work I did to learn how to live with my anger, to manage my anger, to use my anger, to transmute my anger. Like I felt like it was all taken away from me. And it's like, have this fucking raging monster inside me that I'm losing control over.
00;26;37;11 - 00;27;07;00
Robot Rances
That was one of the things. And then, you know what Moses was talking about, like became Dummer. I think what he's saying is like so following a track of thinking and this is what I've seen, what I feel are kind of like exploring it, have learned is like if I'm following a linear track of thinking, it's a little bit easier, which is very little of what I actually do.
00;27;07;18 - 00;27;31;10
Robot Rances
My, my thinking is usually jumping all over, processing a bunch of things and picking out from other things. Like as soon as I try to do that, I get this like headache starts to it feels like it's going from my neck to the back of my head and starts and as that, it's like it's like a darkness that's surrounding my thought process.
00;27;31;10 - 00;27;44;09
Robot Rances
And then all of a sudden I'm like, I don't know what's what I'm talking about. Like, nothing. And, and that that's difficult.
00;27;44;25 - 00;28;07;14
Punchline Jay
I Yeah, no, I can into things that you mentioned like I see I see that like your your temper is a lot shorter. Um, and I can imagine how frustrating that can be sometimes, especially when you put so much work into it, especially from like knowing you from like when we were younger and stuff like that and to know you now, you know, at least in the anger sense, it's two different people to me.
00;28;07;15 - 00;28;31;11
Punchline Jay
Um, I guess now I guess it's like, what kind of work have you started putting in to, to try to negate that? Because I know that you said that you initially you were like, Oh, I'm going to kind of distance myself from like my family a little bit because I don't want them to see that monster. But how long could you theoretically do that for when you live together, know anything.
00;28;31;11 - 00;28;39;12
Punchline Jay
And in kids it's not like they're teenagers where it's kind of like they're on their own kind of thing. There's sort of age where like your everything.
00;28;39;12 - 00;29;10;18
Robot Rances
I mean, the way we approached, I was like explaining to them like, Hey, this is happening to my kids credit. Like, has been multiple times where they notice it and like Emma or Logan is like, Hey, Daddy, Daddy, look at me. Calm down. Breathe, Daddy. Like, they're recognizing that, hey, this is not normal behavior. So let me help Daddy regulate as opposed to like, why does Daddy was daddy yelling at me?
00;29;10;18 - 00;29;18;20
Robot Rances
Like, to, to to...
00;29;18;20 - 00;29;19;16
Moody Mo
Oh, there it is.
00;29;21;05 - 00;29;23;14
Punchline Jay
I was gonna be nice. Like, don't worry about it. Take your time.
00;29;23;28 - 00;29;25;17
Robot Rances
That's actually pretty good, though.
00;29;25;17 - 00;29;27;21
Moody Mo
Like, we've been going for over 2 hours.
00;29;28;15 - 00;29;28;27
Moody Mo
So.
00;29;29;18 - 00;29;43;10
Punchline Jay
So it's said that they noticed their they they notice in their time like, dad, dad, look at me. Calm down. Um, so you're praising them for for noticing that instead of, like, being like, oh, my God, that's chillin me. Why is he yelling at me kind of thing?
00;29;43;26 - 00;29;54;21
Robot Rances
Yeah. Yeah. So from them noticing it and, and not taking it personally. Yeah. That sort of, they're not taking it from them, not taking it personally.
00;29;54;21 - 00;30;16;14
Punchline Jay
Yeah. I think that also equates to a lot of the work that you've done with them since they were kids. You know, the, the, the logic that you would still and these really smart little kids because I mean, how many, you know, eight year olds and how old is Logan Logan's ten. Ten. So like eight and ten year old kids notice like, dad, dad, look at me.
00;30;17;20 - 00;30;35;18
Punchline Jay
It's okay. You know, like let's let's, you know, let's think about this because you got to think about these are all exercises that you did with them when they would have these little temper tantrums. Not saying that you're having a temper tantrum, but you know what I mean? When they're having a an episode, I guess kind of like it's relax, let's think about this for a second.
00;30;35;18 - 00;30;41;00
Punchline Jay
Let's analyze why we're feeling this way kind of thing. I don't know any kids, you know? Do you know any kids? Really?
00;30;41;00 - 00;30;42;00
Moody Mo
Yeah. Logan and Emma
00;30;42;11 - 00;30;46;16
Punchline Jay
Aside from them, asshole.
00;30;46;16 - 00;31;07;14
Moody Mo
I mean, there are kids out there that of course, I think they do have it. I think younger kids are independent. I feel like millennial parents tend to be more of the emotional kind of intelligence kind of leaders in the world. But I wouldn't say that it's the masses.
00;31;07;18 - 00;31;09;19
Punchline Jay
No, I don't think it's common.
00;31;09;20 - 00;31;10;18
Moody Mo
I don't think it's common.
00;31;11;00 - 00;31;24;28
Punchline Jay
I think it's relatively rare and special. Another thing, I guess, does does it bring you to a weird place talking about it, like talk about the accent, like kind of like reliving it kind of thing. Like does it bring like weird memories and stuff like that or like weird emotions?
00;31;24;28 - 00;31;27;27
Robot Rances
No, not that part.
00;31;29;22 - 00;31;35;22
Punchline Jay
The I guess more like the aftermath of like and seeing like the way those affected you.
00;31;36;00 - 00;31;41;20
Moody Mo
Yeah. I heard is really like the whole thinking that. Yeah, yeah. Like that identity. Yeah. Loss.
00;31;42;09 - 00;31;42;17
Robot Rances
Yeah.
00;31;42;18 - 00;31;53;24
Punchline Jay
Oh, it's scary because you don't know how long and how you know, you don't know how long this lasts. So like, what, what the, the ramifications are of hurting your, your mind, hurting your head.
00;31;53;24 - 00;32;14;22
Moody Mo
It's I mean, ramifications. You can look at it financially from the business perspective. Everything. We took a big hit. Yeah. Because of that. And you know, even the presentation on Friday was like it wasn't our best work. Uh, yeah. And in that, I think that shows just because of the experience that he went through.
00;32;15;06 - 00;32;46;20
Robot Rances
Yeah, I started the presentation by letting the audience know, letting the audience know that, you know, I had a concussion and so on, so forth because like the think again, like kind of where you just said the emotional factor was what was causing me anxiety. So like going up to the presentation like you, if this happens to me during the presentation like that, it ruins everything, you know.
00;32;48;13 - 00;33;33;15
Robot Rances
And so, you know, I led with that. I was like, you know, using the principles of like the obstacle is way this is a challenge or I need to face that immediately on the get go in the presentation and inform them like this is, this is why this happens. This is the plan. So that's that's one thing like in to answer your question about, like talking about it, I've talked about it plenty because I'm always trying to use the explanation like this is what happened, so this is what you can expect from me, so help me out because that's what helps, like you said before, like reminding me some of the key points that I
00;33;33;15 - 00;33;56;22
Robot Rances
was talking about. So maybe I don't remember the train of thought, but I'll remember that general idea of a topic that I was talking about. I can go back into that and then use includes like put it back together so that it's that that anxiety is one of like second level factors that has impacted me rather than the accident itself.
00;33;57;02 - 00;34;25;11
Moody Mo
I think it's also the idea of Huberman, He had a podcast where he was talking to a psychologist or was talking about psychology in overcoming trauma. One of the parts is extinguishing and the experience. So whenever you go through something traumatic, you see Rances didnt remember all the details of that experience, that trauma, what he really remembers in detail where the emotions of like everything.
00;34;25;11 - 00;34;50;22
Moody Mo
So when you hear him talk about the story about what happened and the pain in the head, he's talking about the physiology, the biology, everything that occurred. That's what he's remembering because that's the emotion. So then as you can like in the past couple of weeks, we've been working together, so you talk about it, he explained. The physiology, the biology that's occurring and what he's doing with that is he's extinguishing the emotional intensity of those that experience.
00;34;51;16 - 00;35;08;28
Moody Mo
From there, we attach the new positive experience, which was the presentation to the presentation was the thing that was causing him anxiety and was causing him stress. Now, once you attach a positive experience to that trauma, now you start to kind of make it a part of you, which I think that's what happened. And you can actually see it.
00;35;08;28 - 00;35;35;16
Moody Mo
It's it's pretty it's pretty interesting. So you watch a video of the presentation. Rances starts out really slow, which is like awkward to see Rances present that way because he typically does it very kind of fluid and in fast pace, not fast, but just animated, Rances was kind of slow and I don't know the word. It wasn't borring
00;35;35;25 - 00;35;36;20
Moody Mo
It was like.
00;35;38;26 - 00;35;40;01
Punchline Jay
I wasn't there for really.
00;35;40;09 - 00;35;52;04
Moody Mo
I don't know what the word is, but it just seemed not Rances But then you can see an immediate shift in this one part of the presentation is just like everything clicked in, turned on. It was pretty cool. I was like, Oh, there he is.
00;35;53;09 - 00;35;59;00
Punchline Jay
It's kind of like watching like an engine, like start up a click. Now we're in gear. You're like, Yeah.
00;35;59;01 - 00;36;17;07
Moody Mo
And then after that experience, it was like, Oh, Rances was able to create linear thinking, which was like thought, thought, thought, connection, connection, connection. Which to me was pretty cool because after we left it was like you could see Rances felt good about it, which then it was like, Here's the positive experience. It was like, okay, now we're bringing it back.
00;36;17;19 - 00;36;35;26
Punchline Jay
It's like, Well, yeah, that's what you mentioned that before we started the Pods today was that when I asked you guys how it went, you said that it kind of like gave him like a jumpstart kind of thing. Like we I've noticed a difference compared to like having conversations before where it took you a podcast and a half.
00;36;36;01 - 00;36;53;03
Punchline Jay
We're on our second podcast and now, now I'm just starting to see it compared to like when I first started talking to you a few weeks ago when it happened, it was like having a five minute conversation with like dang he’s... I could see him struggling to find the words right now kind of thing or to find his place again.
00;36;53;03 - 00;36;54;13
Punchline Jay
So I mean.
00;36;55;00 - 00;37;05;24
Moody Mo
I mean, we literally Rances and I literally been working since 10 45 a.m. So we had our meeting. You know, we got to set up the podcast. We've been talking for 2 hours, so.
00;37;06;12 - 00;37;30;21
Punchline Jay
It's I've seen to see the progress that's going on. I know it's a it's a slow it's going to be a constant it's a constant thing. But it's nice to see that there's a slow, great start to, you know, this road of recovery because you don't know very long how long it takes or if this is the new way of life and stuff like that.
00;37;31;12 - 00;37;35;13
Punchline Jay
But it's nice to see my baby's coming back.
00;37;35;16 - 00;38;01;07
Robot Rances
But to that point, like one thing that's been very helpful is like recognizing like the limit almost and then pausing there like instead of trying to push, you know, work, like when I'm coming close to that limit is like, I need a break. So like the fact that we took a break there is like, you know, we worked, we were working outside, which, by the way, for me was like good to have in terms of that.
00;38;01;18 - 00;38;31;14
Robot Rances
And then like the cognitive load break of like now we're setting up, right? That's a break. Then we do the podcast and then we took another break like those breaks kind of let me like reset and jumpstart which you know, if you know our history, Mo and I, we would lock ourselves when we had the center, we were like ourselves for a full Saturday in in a room and you know we'll.
00;38;31;24 - 00;38;34;08
Moody Mo
Seven or eight hours. knock out a bunch of stuff.
00;38;34;11 - 00;38;59;22
Robot Rances
Brainstorm create an entire business plan operations, understand all the math and everything like this giant flowchart and be super excited like, oh, and leave. They're like, yes, you know? And then now it's like, okay, my time to me is like 45 minutes. And then only I'm like, okay, you know, like recognizing like, okay, I understand. I used to be there.
00;38;59;22 - 00;39;30;09
Robot Rances
Now I'm here in like to like take your time, like that thing which, you know, go through to you guys, everyone around me, Moises, like, you know, excuse me, we're working. And I'm like, Dude, I think I'm done. Which for me, like, hurts the ego, you know, whereas, like there was one meeting that we were having and we were talking about stuff and I was like the last like 10 minutes.
00;39;30;09 - 00;39;50;23
Robot Rances
I don't know what the fuck we're talking about. And I'm trying to act and I'm like, Hold on, I'm being like a baby about this. I'm being selfish because it's really just wasting time now. And I was like, Dude, I'm burnt out. And you're like, Okay, cool. And like, your reaction to that was like, Okay, cool. Well, we start off again tomorrow.
00;39;51;06 - 00;39;54;29
Robot Rances
That was like, Oh, okay, it's okay for me to do this, you know, that was.
00;39;55;06 - 00;40;13;11
Punchline Jay
Yeah, I think it's I think with you I think you put and this is just outside you're saying I think you put so much on your shoulders of of how you're perceived when it comes to this with your business, because you guys are partners and stuff like that. And you guys both had to carry your weight kind of thing.
00;40;13;24 - 00;40;31;00
Punchline Jay
And I think it's like fear of being like, Oh, like that. I'm going to be judged for having to stop right now because before I was like, No, we were fucking workhorses, there's no fucking give. This is what we do kind of thing. And it's like, realize like, no, no, that business aside, we, we fucking love you and we care about you.
00;40;31;00 - 00;40;47;29
Punchline Jay
And that's what really matters at the end of the fucking day and to, to get on you because you can't handle stuff that you did before is what's the point of that. What does that do. Yeah, that doesn't, that only makes you feel worse and that's not going to help the situation get better kind of thing.
00;40;48;06 - 00;41;16;21
Robot Rances
I think that's a huge point because like that's been a point of stress too for me. Like since this happen where like my output obviously has dramatically decreased and you know, the different projects that we're working on is like, how am I contributing to these things? I'm not, I'm literally not, you know, and I the only thing I could handle was like the presentation.
00;41;17;09 - 00;41;23;24
Robot Rances
And it was like all day long, like all work on. And when typically like, that project would be like.
00;41;24;03 - 00;41;24;27
Punchline Jay
10% of the day.
00;41;24;27 - 00;41;43;04
Robot Rances
Yeah. And then this is like the only thing I can handle at a time like that idea goes right into that point of like, you know, like that partnership. Like, I'm not carrying my weight now. I'm like, why am I even needed then? Like, for the business, like all of those thoughts come in and start to build anxiety.
00;41;43;04 - 00;41;50;16
Robot Rances
So, you know, that's that's one of the the anchors that also put that extra stress.
00;41;51;05 - 00;42;06;29
Punchline Jay
I guess my question will be for, you know, what's it been like with this new normal, I guess, of of noticing, you know, the shift in business right now because of what's going on with Rances and stuff like that, like how do you view.
00;42;07;26 - 00;42;11;03
Moody Mo
It's kind of like when Michael Jordan, the last guy, Scottie Pippen for a while.
00;42;13;06 - 00;42;17;24
Punchline Jay
Now that's that's a fair can you go into that because I don't think many people know basketball like.
00;42;17;24 - 00;42;22;02
Moody Mo
That. Michael Jordan is the greatest ever and.
00;42;22;14 - 00;42;23;22
Robot Rances
In this scenario, Moises is Jordan
00;42;23;29 - 00;42;25;21
Punchline Jay
Yeah. I was like I was like, are you Jordan
00;42;25;21 - 00;42;26;13
Moody Mo
I am Jordan, always will be.
00;42;26;13 - 00;42;26;24
Punchline Jay
Okay.
00;42;26;29 - 00;42;53;10
Moody Mo
But you know, other day, Scottie Pippen said Michael Jordan would have never been great without Scottie Pippen. So I think that's true, too. Yeah. And what you do notice or what I noticed was like the business definitely took a hurt in the sense that the projects were moving forward to generate revenue were halted.
00;42;54;15 - 00;43;21;13
Moody Mo
The podcast the you know the the working with clients were on pause the projects in terms of the building the new strength area that was on pause. Those are all things that literally stopped revenue. So financially we took, we took a hit but it doesn't fucking matter, right? Because the way I thought about it first I call it anxiety.
00;43;21;13 - 00;43;22;17
Moody Mo
I was like, Shit, man, like.
00;43;22;21 - 00;43;23;11
Punchline Jay
What are we going to do?
00;43;23;11 - 00;43;41;16
Moody Mo
What are we going to do? Yeah. And then I thought about like, it doesn't fucking matter. Yeah, we none of it matters. What matters is like making sure Rances gets back to to being a healthy state to be able to contribute anything. And that's the way I saw it. Even with the presentation and I had anxiety about it.
00;43;41;16 - 00;44;06;18
Moody Mo
I was like, Damn, I wonder if I'm going to have to do both. I wonder if, you know, Rances will be able to handle it emotionally and physically so then. But then I thought about like, what's the worst that could happen? We don't we don't get called up again from this organization. Oh, well, there's a thousands of other organizations around us that, you know, call us and we'll just figure it out.
00;44;06;22 - 00;44;29;20
Robot Rances
There is also last last thing I wanted to share that I really appreciated. It was like, you know, you you were like, listen, you know, Huberman was talking about concussions and this and this and this. And, you know, he told me, like, go his website or this is the best Creatine you could get. So on and so fourth. Like that was also I felt very supported in that because it's like, oh shit.
00;44;29;20 - 00;44;39;01
Robot Rances
He's not just like, you know, like, all right, go get better and come back when you're worth something. I was like, And now I'm here with you. I'm helping you. Through the process I.
00;44;39;01 - 00;44;40;03
Moody Mo
Gave him a keto Cup too.
00;44;41;24 - 00;45;02;00
Robot Rances
By the way, that was so we the story is we came to me and and like so like, you know, that idea that the contrast is like, all right, go get feel better. I was like because I hadn't I hadn't seen Mo since like the accident for like I think it was like a couple of weeks. Yeah, a couple of weeks.
00;45;03;00 - 00;45;19;20
Robot Rances
And, and it was like there was not much communication happening. Just like the daily every day of your how you feeling? Which I was getting tired of that question because tons of people tell, how are you feeling? How are you feeling? Like I'm feeling like shit, bro. Like leave me alone, like home. But so, like, there was like.
00;45;19;20 - 00;45;44;27
Robot Rances
All right. Yeah. How you feeling? But there was, like, really no connection, like. And in my brain in that moment, with all of anxiety is like, okay, he just like you use his right now I'm gonna do me because like that day that you came and you tossed that keto cup because Mo is not very emotionally expressive, right? No. He he sits down, has a
00;45;44;27 - 00;45;45;16
Moody Mo
not towards men.
00;45;46;07 - 00;45;47;09
Robot Rances
He sits down very.
00;45;47;09 - 00;45;47;20
Moody Mo
its very different
00;45;47;20 - 00;45;59;03
Robot Rances
With this awkward smirk. He tosses me a Kito Cup like I don't care here. But that moment, like knowing Mo I was like, aww that was so sweet.
00;46;00;20 - 00;46;11;11
Punchline Jay
That's another episode of Mindset U we love you guys don't forget to comment and all that stuff and say Rances... I said, say. Send Rances your will wishes
00;46;11;11 - 00;46;12;06
Moody Mo
AKA Mr. Robot.
00;46;12;06 - 00;46;13;07
Punchline Jay
Mr. Robot.
00;46;13;07 - 00;46;16;01
Moody Mo
Yeah, yeah.
00;46;16;01 - 00;46;19;01
Punchline Jay
Yeah. That's, that's all I got. I'm feeling emotional. So
00;46;19;01 - 00;46;19;27
Moody Mo
no punchlines for Jay,
00;46;19;27 - 00;46;21;03
Punchline Jay
no punchlines for me.
00;46;22;07 - 00;46;23;02
Moody Mo
And I'm in a good mood.
00;46;24;02 - 00;46;28;01
Punchline Jay
Surprisingly in a good mood today. Look at that.
00;46;28;01 - 00;46;29;09
Punchline Jay
Yeah, that's it, guys. Thank you so much.
00;46;29;09 - 00;46;29;17
Moody Mo
All right, guys, Peace.
00;46;29;26 - 00;46;30;21
Punchline Jay
Peace.
00;46;30;21 - 00;46;31;08
Robot Rances
Peace.