Karen The Resilient Therapist: Recovery - Part 3/4 [Podcast]
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In today's episode of Karen, The Resilient Therapist talks about her recovery. Part 3 of 4 in the series, this episode covers pushing the edge, accepting help, patience, and healing.
In this series, Karen discusses how to push the boundaries and accept help in order to recover from difficult experiences. Part 3 of the series discusses how to have patience and understand that recovery takes time. Karen discusses accepting help from family, friends, and professionals and making the most of challenging experiences.
If you're struggling with recovery, this podcast is for you. We'll talk about how to push past the boundaries, be patient, and accept help. If you're looking for tips on recovering from a traumatic situation, you've come to the right place!
0:00 - Podcast Intro
0:12 - Episode Intro
0:22 - Fitness antifragility
3:03 - The Road to Recovory
5:17 - Fighting the feeling weak
8:59 - Fiesty spirit
9:38 - Accepting help
10:49 - Acknowledging my limits
12:00 - adhering to the plan
15:24 - Mindset of hope
18:36 - Outro
Rances
Welcome to Mindset U podcast your source of mindset education. We aim to provide you with free valuable education for you to thrive. Enjoy. The road to recovery is finding the sweet spot between progress and doing too much. Let's listen in on how Karen is able to use her wisdom to balance that line from the physical element. You know, your doctor saying your fitness saved your life, and what do we know is you mentioned the muscle mass, right.
Rances
That being a protective layer. But other aspects of fitness that people may not be aware of is bone density. Bone density improves drastically under fitness because you're stressing the bones, because the muscles are...
Moises
You resistance training. Yes. Like weightlifting, all that stuff.
Karen
Yes. For a lot of years. Yeah.
Moises
Yeah. So that that correlates with the bone density.
Rances
And then you also have the cardiovascular blood flow, your body's ability to send nutrient rich blood to an area to heal it like all of these things are. I was setting you up to be basically this machine that stands up three days after... Yeah.
Moises
Antifragile. Antifragile.
Rances
Antifragile. is a book by that name, but it talks about the concept of, well, you know, we make things, objects that are robust, they're strong, that can handle a lot of damage. Right. But the thing is that the damage is there resisting the damage, any damage gets through. There's no recovering from that. Well, us as humans, we have an antifragility to ourselves in terms of we may not be robust, super tough that we can handle all this, but every time we get hit, we develop a callus, we develop strength, we develop more power to be able to handle that in the future.
Rances
Right. So what was the saying is like there's all these years of training with developing this antifragility where now you get hit with something that should take you entirely out, like you mentioned, like life or death situation. You could have easily died in this.
Karen
Yes.
Rances
But the years of developing that antifragility is what brings you to three days from, say, three days from the accident, being able to walk around.
Moises
I mean, that's that's why I say, like you take a 35 year old, a 40 year old who who doesn't work out and this happens to them. It's highly I would say it's more probable that they don't walk after. This is like just like Rances says, you know, like you don't rise to that occasions because you're 35 or 40 years old.
Moises
You get hit by a car and you're younger. You may have a slightly more muscle mass and a 62 year old. Yeah. Doesn't mean you're going to come out of it. You fall back to your level of training. Like literally what the Navy SEALs do is like you want to be able to take bullets. You got to be able to handle the pain that comes with taking bullets.
Rances
So you're at day three. Okay. Your your life is turned upside down. You're told you just had surgery, you're given the hope and that's, hey, you're going to be able to walk, right? You're in massive pain. Leave us along
Karen
So that first attempt to walk was pretty tough. Like, I think I went from my bed, I got to the door and I walked a little bit in the hallway and that was it. Then I had to go back and that was with the assistance of the physical therapist. So throughout the course of that day, I did a couple of walks which were not very far, but I just felt like if I could do it, I wanted to do it and I couldn't get out of the bed by myself.
Karen
But they actually showed me someone's going to help me what to do, so that that took some energy to just being able to transfer the cold from bed to standing even, like going to the bathroom by myself. That was a big, a big deal. So I continued to use the walker. I think physical therapy came back the next day and I said I, I told her I did like three walks, you know, each time to the nursing station and back.
Karen
And then she said, All right, let's try to go like around the whole circle of the floor in the hospital. And I said, okay. And I did that. She was like, you know, you done great. Of course, to me, this felt very I just never pictured myself to be in any situation even close to this. So I felt very sad and broken that that's the level I was at.
Karen
But I just told myself I have to keep going. And they actually considered or offered me to go to an inpatient rehab, which I definitely was not doing.
Rances
So what is what is an inpatient rehab?
Karen
So if you're not able to take care of yourself after major surgery, sometimes they they'll send you to a place where you're going to get physical therapy. It's basically kind of like being in a hospital, but you're not there's not doctors there. So it would be a place where somebody would be supervising me and I would get meals and I could be, you know, having a little bit of attention in terms of just getting my physical mobility back.
Karen
But it was also it was never an option for me. I just didn't.
Rances
Know resistance to that.
Karen
Every level of resistance, first of all, is COVID. I pictured myself in one of those places. I was like, I cannot go there. I just think is for people that have no other options or like really old people. And I just didn't think that I was going to benefit from it. So I was like, No, I'm not doing that anyway.
Karen
Bottom line is, three more days in the hospital. I walked more than they also showed me how to use a cane and I was discharged because at some point I didn't need to be in the hospital anymore. So I actually my sister came to help me. She doesn't live around here, but she stayed with me for a couple days and still tremendous pain.
Karen
But each day I was getting a tiny bit better and one of the main issues for me was I could really not sleep because pain and just getting into bed or out of bed was very, very tough. So I, I got a I think it's called a hospital. Sure. Like a reclining chair with a motor that that way I could sort of sleep and then if I needed to get up, there's a thing that would like push me.
Karen
And that was my best friend for a couple of weeks.
Rances
And were you. Where's your sister staying with you. Where you alone?
Karen
Yeah. She stayed with me for probably like another week, maybe less than a week. And then I wouldn't go away.
Moises
From.
Rances
You in a year.
Karen
I wanted my space.
Rances
Your independence.
Karen
Yes, right. Yes. But without her help in the beginning, I would not be. I don't know what I would have done.
Rances
The whole time. Like you're telling the story, there's always like this point of a resistance that you have of the process, right where. So the beginning is like, Can I go home now? Like right after the accident, right? There's the okay, you can walk Karen after the surgery and Karen takes that to the next level and she gets up throughout the first day, multiple times.
Rances
We're going to send you to to this rehab place. And Karen's like, no, get home. All right, sister. Thank you for the help. I'm good. All right. So, like, tell me about that spirit there, because I feel like that has a lot to do and it kind of sets the pace of everything that we we personally experience watching you recover from all of this.
Rances
But like, there's there's a lot of kind of drive there. So tell me about that.
Karen
You're calling me out. So not so aware of it when you pointed out, then I'm like, yes, that's true. I think I just in a quiet way, I'm a fiercely independent person. I don't have a really hard time asking for help and receiving help. It makes me, I don't know, just something about that that feels very uncomfortable. And I don't want to need help.
Karen
I don't want to rely on other people, no getting into my stuff. But in this particular part of my life, I think that it's helpful. It's helped me because it yeah.
Rances
That's what I was going to ask you. Like, where did that backfire? Where that starts to backfire?
Karen
No, it backfires in other parts of my life in relationships, we're not talking about that. But in this particular chapter of my life, which is still being written, it's been really helpful. So I am able to channel my energy and do what I have to do. And when I most clearly needed help, I was able to accept it for a limited time.
Karen
I have to say I was very happy with myself that I did not. I actually followed the surgeon's recommendations in terms of the healing process because really out of fear, because he was very conservative in when he allowed or gave me permission to little by little go back to more of the activities that I have always done. You know, I kept pushing and he said, no, no, not yet, not yet, not yet.
Karen
And then when I finally said, you know why? And he said, because the hardware that I installed could come loose and then you would need to have another surgery. So I was like, okay, no, I don't want another surgery. So I'm really going to follow your recommendations because I was really I just wanted to get back on a bike indoors.
Karen
And he kept telling me I wasn't ready to do it.
Rances
So.
Karen
I was cleared in little increments to do more. I kept trying to push it. Like if you said three months, I was like, okay, three weeks. And then I was like, No, just don't do it.
Rances
So have a connection. Back to what you were talking about, like as a therapist, right? Giving homework to people to do these things. And now you're in the seat of receiving homework like you because in a sense, like your your surgeon is removing the block saying, I'll allow you to start doing this. But it's really like it's the homework that is helping you heal, right?
Rances
So allowing you to for example, I think the first thing was like to walk.
Karen
Yes, right.
Rances
You had to walk in order to help. The healing for most people was like you need it would be like you need to start walking now. Right. To help the healing process. In your case, it was like more like, okay, we'll let you start walking now.
Karen
Yes.
Rances
But I think that's that's a huge point, too, that like the homework aspect, like how holistic healing really is in the process. And we're talking about just the physical aspect right now.
Karen
Yes.
Rances
But that impact of doing those things and you've shared with me and you like to share kind of the details of like what you were doing during that time physically and when when he would allow you like, for example, to start lifting some weight and things like that. So you started walking?
Karen
Yes.
Rances
All right. How much were you walking to begin with?
Karen
You know, in the very first couple of days when I was home, it was really little like.
Rances
Just walking around the house.
Karen
I know I would go outside a little bit. It was also summertime and I just felt like I needed to be outside, but I could walk like less than a block. I remember I tried to walk to a neighbor's house and it's maybe a full block. And I got there and I was like, I knew that I couldn't walk back because I was in excruciating pain.
Karen
I started slow, but I would go out within, let's say, a week or two. I was walking multiple times during the day and building slowly to a couple of miles a day at whatever pace I could walk. But I just like that. That was my homework and that's what I focused on. I couldn't go out for like 2 hours, but I would break it up, you know, 15 minutes, come back an hour later, another 15 minutes come back.
Karen
So that was really like the focus of my day. That's what I could do. And that's all that I was clear to do.
Rances
Yeah. And I said, how long walking? Only.
Karen
I think so. July. August, September.
Rances
Or.
Karen
2 to 3 months.
Rances
Okay. 2 to 3 months. Only walking was that hard, like you mentioned, like you would argue with your surgeon about wanting to do more. But then again, you also mentioned how the pain will show up and be like, Hey, you're doing too much.
Karen
Yeah, no, I paid attention to that. And it wasn't really hard. I mean, again, in the first couple of days. Yes. But as things began to heal, it wasn't really hard. I mean, I was mostly walking on flat roads. I wasn't trying hills for quite a while, but wasn't that difficult?
Moises
I want to go kind of back to that resistance, because you said that like it helped you and when you first started talking about it, like impatient, I was like, I didn't know that part of your story and you said, No, I'm not going there. I was like, Yeah, fuck, yeah. Like you shouldn't go there. And it brings me back to a story that I have with one of my coworkers.
Moises
She just she was diagnosed with leukemia, the blood disease. And when she found out, she was like, okay, let's do this. And one of the things that she told me was that when you go into the process of like trying to recover from leukemia, they have this like 150 page document of all the crap that can happen to you and you're supposed to read it and sign this whole thing.
Moises
And she started reading it. Todd talked about all the side effects and all these things, and she was like, You know what? I'm not going to put this shit into my head. I'm just going to sign it and do it because that's what I know I have to do. And she went through it and now she's fully recovered.
Moises
But she was just like the power of the mind after that experience was like what she took out of it. It was like she did not allow any of those negative experience, anything that would change her environment. She didn't allow people that she knew would come in here and give her sympathy. She was like, No, I have to be strong in this moment and I need to bring the people in my life and the resources in my life that are going to get me through.
Moises
So they were trying to send her to like inpatient. She was like, No, I want to be with my daughter because I know my daughter is going to help me through. I want to be with this doctor because I know this doctor is going to help me through. So when I think about your story, I'm thinking about like, yeah, like that is important that like I guess resilient mindset in that moment is like, no, I'm not going to allow any of these things in there because you already have enough that you're dealing with.
Karen
So true. And I'm glad you're bringing that up because I have so many times I realize that I got I don't know luck is the right word, but that I was very fortunate and I had and I have a lot of gratitude for the people that have been there for me and helped me heal. And you guys are part of that.
Karen
I just never was having to be on the receiving end of help. And I mean, like I said, the neurosurgeon, I think was really is an awesome person. But I also was able to be treated by a really good acupuncturist. And I still continue to work with a physical therapist that I think has helped me tremendously. And it's it's knowing that I could rely on people if I need them and I'll do whatever it takes.
Karen
But I, I recognized that I needed the support, but I also recognized if there were negative people, like I can't afford that right now. So that that's been actually like a life changing thing for me.
Rances
What is your health, love, life, spirituality, career, finances all have in common your mindset. Mindset is a source of creating change to learn how to install these and other life transforming concepts. Browse through our free collection of courses. I b the project. Com.